Physical Wellbeing - why you need to ditch Bleach and use essential oils for cleaning

Papa don't bleach, even tho the dirt is deep, Papa don't bleach, I've been losing skin.... And I'm running out of time, it’s killing me baby. It goes too deep baby! (cribbed poorly from Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach)

Yeah ok it sort of works, in a loose sense, however, after you’ve read this little freak out on bleach I’m sure you’ll be more in tune…

Noxious Poison

Got to write this one about the hideous poison that is Bleach, indiscriminate destroyer of ALL life forms...

Which I am always amazed to discover is still so widely welcomed into our homes, offices and lives in general.

The noxious smell alone should be enough to warn you of its lethal capacity, yet I know some of you have normalised this foul odour, even drawing comfort from its destructive prowess.... NOTHING can survive after a good dose of Bleach! 

Generic Whitener

So, what exactly is Bleach? In fact, it's just the generic name given to any chemical product that not only leaches the colour from whatever it has the misfortune to come in contact with, but also weakens the very fibres of it.

People use it to strip their hair down to a ‘perceived’ more attractive colour, some even like to lighten their anuses with it?! I have to question the sanity of those that take the time to perform this painful, somewhat pointless procedure.

Firstly, who has the time to whiten their anus? Surely, there are more important, meaningful ways to spend your precious life?  Secondly, how has that even become a thing? If your partner doesn’t appreciate the colour of your bum hole, are they really worth it? 

And finally, how much body dysmorphia does one need to possess to resort to taking it out on their arsehole? Clearly, I don’t bleach mine and TBH it’s not an area I favour hanging around, given its purpose and smell….(I seriously hope your smiling and not vomming at this point in…)

Chemical Weapon

Anyway, I digress, back to the main focus of my bitch, the generic household variety bleach, a nasty combo of chlorine, caustic soda, and water.

The chlorine and caustic soda are produced by putting direct current electricity through a sodium chloride salt solution, in a process called electrolysis.... All very Frankenstein!

And, just in case you didn't know, chlorine in its truest form, is a toxic corrosive gas. Which means, if you aren't handling your chemical weapon with due care and accidentally mix it with acid (regular toilet cleaners usually contain acid) or ammonia...Congratulations, you’ve just created a deadly poisonous gas, which can kill you or anyone else in the vicinity! 

What gives this killer away is at first a sore throat…followed swiftly by unconsciousness….rounding up with death…NICE… 

Indiscriminate Killer

The biggest issue with this powerful germicide is its indiscriminate nature, it simply exterminates everything.  And, we need good bacteria in our lives and upon our persons; our children are getting ill from all this extreme sanitisation!

Our homes need to be living organisms, like our bodies... And no, I am not giving you an excuse to be a dirty bastard, you still need a clean house, just one clear of harmful viruses and life-threatening bacteria........just like our guts.

Take Responsibility

And so, I ask you would you pour bleach into your fish tank or pond? I think not, but you’re happy to pour it down the drains….?!

Fish Death

And what about the poor life forms who exist in these dank places? Bleach actually attacks the proteins in a fish, causing it’s cells to die….

Plant Death

With plants, who need a higher dose for death, it starves them slowly by stopping them getting the nutrients they need from the soil.... A drawn out painful ending! I know we think plants can't feel anything, but evidence is starting to appear that they do...

The Truth

Then, where do you think these drains lead to? Our water ways; rivers, lakes, reservoirs and seas! Just important natural environments, we rely upon for our very existence!   Yes, you can argue that it only takes large quantities to wreak the afore mentioned damage, however, if everyone is using a little, it quickly accumulates.

The Biochemistry Reality

If you've managed to disregard the point above, you can’t ignore critical facts, such as our skin being porous; It takes only 20 seconds for anything on its surface to enter our blood streams!

And even if you’re totally ‘gloved-up', it's still getting in via your olfactory system, aka our noses and sinuses; Anything we breathe in enters our Hypothalamus (visceral control centre).  

This crucial organ controls our physiological function, by communicating with our Pituitary gland…. The latter being responsible for managing our hunger, blood pressure, thyroid function, memory, sleep cycle and sex hormones……

So, if you’re using bleach to clean anything, you come in direct contact with it one way or another and are actually absorbing it in the truest sense.  Another way to fuck yourself up from the inside out, because life isn’t difficult enough!

Break Your Chains

So, I’m asking you to stop channelling your inner ‘Chemical Ali’, give your drains, brains and anuses a break from all this hazardous danger. Face your fears, what’s the worst thing that’s going to crawl out of your toilet bowl? I can promise you won’t suddenly find yourself starring in a 'germy' version of Aliens. 

Please consider more natural ways to get your house ‘clean’, hair ‘sun-kissed’ and life meaning…. Forget about bleaching your anus, it’s a step too far, you don’t need that in your life unless it’s in your job description! 

Natural Alternatives

Instead, can I draw your attention to the power of Essential Oils, derived from nature, sustainable, toxin-free, bio-degradable and actually good for you! Fantastic household cleaning replacements include, Clove, Eucalyptus,Lemon, Lavender, Melaleuca, Rosemary, thyme and Wild Orange. 

These beauties are ‘anti’ in ever way, whilst simultaneously preserving the integrity of the good bacteria. All have uplifting aromas, to improve your overall cleaning experience, their touch more beneficial to your body and the rest of nature.

And they are so versatile, you can clean your bog with them, flavour your food with them or improve your general health and wellbeing. By using Essential Oils to clean, you stand a chance of actually enjoying cleaning... Yeah I am serious, it is possible!

For your hair, I recommend Lemon, Chamomile or Cinnamon oil…..They have a very pleasing scent and will again offer you a toxin-free touch that promises to enhance not damage your personal health and wellness….And again, they can offer so much more than that.

Yes, I know I sell all these oils and give training, and you may think I've written this as a shameless plug to get more business.... But I really haven't, please remove Bleach from your Life, that's all I ask! x

Buying Essential Oils

The world of Essential Oils is not equal, it is unregulated and only 8% of the ingredient needs to be present for it to be marketed as pure. This means that if you are thinking you’re getting an absolute bargain by paying next to nothing, which I used to think, you’re really not. 

They are extremely versatile and magical, so what appears expensive in the first instance is actually very cheap. I’ve done the research for you, I sell the very best, purest essential oils, you can buy them directly from me.

It’s always best to purchase essential oils from someone you can trust, who knows what they’re talking about and can be contacted for additional information. 

Essential Oil Workshops

I run essential oil workshops, which can be done on Zoom or face to face, for anyone wishing to deepen their knowledge of essential oils and the best ways to use them in your life. I’ve also made a series of online essential oils courses, which you can buy here.